The decision to go to couples counseling is a big problem.
You have chosen to invest in your relationship, and you are committed to improving it for you. You say "this is worth fighting for," which is commendable.
Couples counseling is a great environment where you can get to know each other and take steps to solve any problems you encounter. But while counseling is a wonderful environment in which you are experiencing unprecedented growth, you need to make sure that you and your partner are prepared for this.
After working with couples from all backgrounds and walks of life, we found that the best results come when couples are prepared. To help you prepare for counseling for couples, we created this resource to help you prepare.
Although you may have decided to consult because of some stressful issues, it's worth some time to think about your long happiness. You want to know what kind of life you want to build or restore with your partner. Consider your individual shortcomings (this can be difficult - most of us find it difficult to recognize the problems that we may have) and be willing to discuss these publicly in your counseling session.
You may experience a lot of conflict with your partner right now, and this can be difficult. While you may have developed patterns to deal with it, such as fighting or hiding from it, try to write down how you feel and what triggered the conflict and what you did about it. This type of logs can be very useful for the processor.
Again, this may include writing some basic things, but it's important to decide what you like or love with your partner and find what you want to save and restore. Also, if your partner is engaged in activities or behavior that hurt you, record it.
The reason for this is that during a treatment session with your couples counselor, there will be a lot going on. You may find it difficult to remember some details. But if you have things written, you'll find it much easier to keep them in mind and discuss them.
Much of the useful work before a counseling session for couples involves introspection. When you are introspective, you are dealing with your thoughts on key issues and choosing what to focus on. Try to shift your perspective to see things from the perspective of partners before the session.
This can give you a good idea of why they feel the way they feel. You may also want to try an exercise like mindfulness. Mindfulness gives you concentration and space to be as present as possible. It can be a very useful tool not only to prepare you before treatment but in other parts of your life.
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Couples counseling is a very effective tool used by couples around the world to achieve the kind of results they cannot get alone.
At CFHP, we work with all types of couples, including heterosexual couples, homosexual couples, long-term de facto couples, married couples, and parents with young families. We have helped couples to work through a variety of conflict and personal issues, including issues of trust, infidelity, childhood trauma, and anger.